On March 12th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (10:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith returns to the stage.
Trumgottist walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
lpsmith says, "Well, if robgrassi unidles at some point, he can make a speech."
[peanut-gallery] (from Rob) robgrassi zzzzz
lpsmith says, "But next! The show must go on, with inky presenting the nominees and winner for Best NPCs."
Fang goes home.
inky climbs up on stage again.
inky says, "ok, this one I am going to present"
Allen says, "you never climbed off the stage"
[peanut-gallery] katre asks, "no one is updating the chalkboard?"
maga exclaims, "yay inky!"
jmac says, "inkay"
olethros exclaims, "Go, inky!"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "it is being updated"
inky says (to Allen), "I snuck off while you were all cheering for Sara"
[peanut-gallery] katre says, "there we go"
[peanut-gallery] katre says, "thanks"
inky says, "anyway, the Best NPCs award is a very important one in IF"
Lee exclaims, "go inky!"
ant arrives from the west.
inky says, "a good NPC is like a microcosm of what makes a good game -- it requires bringing writing, puzzle, and plot together to make a whole greater than the sum of its parts"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "I think he's lying"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "'thog hit everybody with rock'"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "giggle"
inky says, "the games nominated for Best NPC have to do this not once but multiple times -- sometimes they're nominated mostly for having a single major NPC, but even then the supporting cast must be there to back that NPC up"
[peanut-gallery] maga asks, "why did I read that as 'greater than the sum of its body parts'?"
inky says, "the nominees for Best NPC are:"
inky says, "Agrath, from All Hope Abandon (by Eric Eve)"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "no more AIF for you, maga"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "too much AIF"
inky says, "er, whoops"
inky says, "right game, wrong listing"
inky says, "All Hope Abandon, by Eric Eve"
inky says, "there we go"
sdee claps again
Lee claps again
lpsmith chuckles, claps.
inky says (to Bernie), "I guess I'm not the only one with mixed-up paperwork"
Merk says, "Wooo AHA"
inky says, "Bolivia By Night, by Aidan Doyle"
Merk says, "Wooo BBN"
klimas says, "yay"
HairBrain says, "BOLIVIA!"
Guest1 exclaims, "yay bolivia!!!"
inky says, "Flat Feet, by Joel Ray Holveck"
wojohz says, "yay Doyle"
[peanut-gallery] HairBrain says, "(IJLS 'Bolivia')"
inky says, "Gilded, by John Evans (as A Hazard)"
wojohz exclaims, "yay Sam and Max!"
olethros says, "hooray again"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, ""Wooo Gilded! Way underrated. Buggy, yes, but way underrated."
wojohz says, "woo"
inky says, "(possibly the only game besides Plundered Hearts which allows you to dance with all the NPCs)"
[peanut-gallery] olethros says, "yeah, but bugs -> unplayable"
inky says, "and Vespers, by Jason Devlin"
lpsmith says, "Yay"
[peanut-gallery] maga says, "'buggy' is a massive understatement"
olethros says, "hooray"
maga says, "yay"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay monks!"
Eric claps loudly.
inky says, "and the winner is ...."
Guest1 exclaims, "VESPERS!!!"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says (to olethros), "I played it just fine. And the writing was great."
inky says, "Vespers, by Jason Devlin!"
maga exclaims, "Yay Vespers!"
sdee exclaims, "yay!"
Bishop applauds wildly!
Norah says, "Yay"
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "yay precognition!"
olethros says, "Hooray!@"
Thrax exclaims, "yay, a game I've actually played!"
Jacqueline claps wildly.
Emily says, "woo"
inky gives Best NPCs 2005 XYZZY to JasonD.
ant applauds enthusiastically
Eric applauds enthusiastically.
wojohz says, "yay Guest1's lucky guess"
Rob applauds for creepy diseased NPCs
klimas says, "woo!"
olethros exclaims, "Excellent!"
inky sneaks off the stage again.
ant applauds for creepy demonic NPCs
olethros asks (of rob), "you mean grittily realistic NPCs?"
Merk exclaims (at Jasond), "Congrats!!!"
wojohz says, "speech"
Guest1 says, "guest1 is all-knowing..."
Norah keeps clapping
JasonD says, "Wow! Who knew assigning different names to was essentially the same NPC four times would pay off :)"
DrewMochak ph34rs Guest1.
olethros says, "haha"
revenant goes home.
Norah says, "Oh yeah, good point lol"
JasonD exclaims, "Thanks guys!"
jmac says, "well done"
wojohz says, "hee"
robgrassi says, "ohhh"
inky says, "the Vespers NPCs are all crazy in their own way"
eileen applauds madly
robgrassi says, "my son is sleeping"
robgrassi says, "at last"
sdee exclaims, "nice job, jason!"
Norah says, "SPEECH"
robgrassi asks, "where we are?"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "in that light, Frenetic Five 2 was robbed"
olethros says, "everyone knows monks are essentially indistiguishable because of the strange bald patch"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "it had infinite NPCs"
inky asks (of robgrassi), "would you like to make a belated speech about winning best individual puzzle?"
Guest1 says, "tell robgrassi you missed your award"
maga says (to olethros), "and the buboes"
ChainGangGuy claps for monks
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "ha ha"
[peanut-gallery] Merk says, ""There is a fat, bald monk in my D&D group. Which incidentally, I'm almost late for. :)"
wojohz says, "lpsmith won"
olethros says (to maga), "ew"
JasonD says, "Go for it Rob! You earned it"
Miseri arrives from the west.
robgrassi says, "my gid"
Merk says, "My little girl is asleep too, for the moment."
wojohz says, "for 15 minutes"
robgrassi asks, "i've won a prize?"
Rob says (to robgrassi), "you won best puzzle!"
Rob says, "check your inventory!"
lpsmith says (to rob), "Yes! Congrats."
robgrassi says, "great! :D"
zarf says, "Good speech, that."
Lee cheers robgrassi
DrewMochak says, ""Welcome back! By the way, you won an award!""
robgrassi says, "eer...."
robgrassi says, "so, i'm not good at speeches"
ChainGangGuy says, "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy..."
robgrassi says, "the puzzle has been inspired by John Dicson Carr books"
Merk exclaims (at robgrassi), "Excellent game, by the way!!"
robgrassi says, "i wanted to make a closed chamber puzzle"
Guest1 says, "loved the giallo stuff"
robgrassi says, "and then we let the player 'play' the murder again"
robgrassi says, "in different ways, from different points of view"
olethros says, "sounds like an excellent idea"
ChainGangGuy says, "yay ideas"
robgrassi says, "and that's all"
lpsmith cheers, and returns to the stage.
inky says, "hooray"
wojohz applauds discorso
robgrassi says, "I can't scream otherwise my son get awaken"
inky says, "ha ha"
[peanut-gallery] Norah asks, "One more speech still?"
eileen claps happily
olethros says, "hee"
robgrassi says, "and i could miss the best story prize"
robgrassi says, "... ;)"
lpsmith says, "So, after seeing the winners of the NPC awards, some of you may be wondering if you can get NPCs this good for your own games. Well, the stable of good NPC actors, actresses and other beings is small but solid. Here tonight, we present you with behind-the-scenes looks at the folks that brought you some of the XYZZY's greatest roles."
olethros looks up in wonder.
inky pushes a button on his remote, and a screen drops down to reveal a picture of Boldo, from Lock & Key
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Oh no, not the jumbotron."
inky says, "After his stint on Lock & Key, Boldo had a spot in a short-lived made-for-CYOA remake of Enchanter, as the Adventurer, and then his career took something of a downturn after an unwise role in Adoo's Stinky Story."
Guest3 goes home.
inky says, "Still, he landed a plum role in Sting of the Wasp as the tennis instructor, and I believe he's in negotiations with Paul Allen Panks for a spot in Ninja III, so we can look forward to seeing a lot more of Boldo in the future!"
klimas says, "ha"
maga says, "hee hee hee"
olethros says, "Haha"
Emily says, "ha"
Jacqueline says, "YAY"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "yay"
Bishop exclaims, "Ha!"
wojohz says, "mo boldo"
maga says, "inky wins"
lpsmith says, "After many years of appearing in small roles, from Trillian in 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' to the Clapper in 'The Frenetic Five', she finally achieved stardom in 1999 as Miss Sierra in 'Varicella'. That proved to be the push she needed to make the crossover into graphical adventures, and she's appeared as several Bond Girls in Electronic Arts' 007 games, and most recently signed up with Tim Schafer to be Secret Agent Milla Vodello in 'Psychonauts'."
olethros asks, "several bond girls at the same time?"
wojohz says, "heh"
Merk says, "Wooo Psychonauts."
Emily says (to olethros), "that's real diversity for you"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax exclaims (at inky), "you forgot her early breakthrough role in Plundered Hearts!"
inky says (to olethros), "that's the advantage of it being done on the computer"
lpsmith says, "The wonders of modern technology."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "ha"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "excellent"
olethros says, "M<mm"
inky says, "We got in touch with Triage to see what it was up to these days now that Slouching Towards Bedlam is over, and it sent back the following message:"
inky | CAT:RESPONSE.RE.CUR
inky | RENT.OCCUPATION....
inky | UTIL:FILL.TIME.BETW
inky | EEN.AWARDS.PART:FIR
inky | ST.GIG.ENIGMA.MACHI
inky | NE.JIGSAW.MOST.RECE
inky | NTLY.APPEARED.IN...
inky | ALL.THINGS.DEVOURS.
inky | AS.TIME.MACHINE....
Emily says, "ha ha ha ha"
klimas says, "ha ha"
zarf says, "yay"
Bishop says, "Hee hee."
olethros says, "yay"
Recchi says, "^____^"
robgrassi says, "heheheh"
JasonD exclaims, "That was awesome!"
zarf says, "*double* yay."
jmac says, "who knew."
lpsmith says, "And, finally: Graham Nelson first discovered this aspiring young demon in 1994, pressing him into service as a hint-giver (of sorts) in 'Curses'. Wary of being type-cast as a glorified invisiclue system, he sought out Andrew Pontious in 1996, and begged to play a role in the developing 'Small World'. His bet paid off, and he won 'Best Individual NPC' that year as the devil in that game. His shape-changing abilities make him a great character actor, and he's appeared as some form of supernatural force in such games as Madame L'Estrange, John's Fire Witch, Nevermore, All Hope Abandon, and Gamlet. But you'd be hard-pressed to recognize him in his role in this year's 'Vespers', where he played... well, that would be telling."
jmac would be worried about getting typecast
[peanut-gallery] Thrax asks (of inky), "and are you sure Triage didn't appear as Mover-005 in Bad Machine?"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "dammit"
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "I can't believe I forgot that one"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "they looked oddly similar"
Emily says, "ha"
olethros says, "haha"
olethros says, "that was excellent character acting indeed"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "next time hire Thrax to write the skit"
[peanut-gallery] olethros grins.
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "no kidding"
inky says, "hooray"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "possibly in Djinni Chronicles as well"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "though that may have been a cousin"
[peanut-gallery] Norah says, "Yeah, that's one"