On March 20th, 2005, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, including side-comments that those in attendance made on the #peanut-gallery channel. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.
lpsmith says, "I suppose more glamorous parties await. OK, next up: Dan "inky" Shiovitz, presenting the award for Best Puzzles."
[peanut-gallery] Tommy asks (of Jacq), "In Alaska?"
Jason says, "Uhhh. Thanks"
Rob clap clap clap
Jacqueline says, "Yay Jason. Well done."
(From Paul) Fans cheer!
[peanut-gallery] jon says, "x trophy"
maga exclaims, "inky! inky!"
inky steps up onto the stage.
klimas says, "yay inky"
Fang passes Jason a peanut from #peanut-gallery.
inky says, "well, well, Best Puzzles, let me see"
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "In the auditorium, and then at the bar."
NamelessAdventurer taps inky on the shoulder.
zarf says, "yay nameless"
Tommy claps (for Dan's Mystery House thing as well).
Jason says, "I guess eloquence like that is why I didnt get best writing"
inky asks (of NamelessAdventurer), "what?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "argh, acronymizing peter jackson"
lpsmith says (to Jason), "Hee hee"
NamelessAdventurer whispers in inky's ear.
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Can ATD win again?"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "sure"
inky asks (of NamelessAdventurer), "you what? you're going to -- what?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "nah"
NamelessAdventurer looks sulky.
Jason exclaims, "Yay inky!"
[peanut-gallery] Ferret roots for first XYZZY winner with a mammal, a bird, and an embryonic life form in the title.
inky says (to NamelessAdventurer), "ok, ok, fine"
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says, "even though it really only had one big puzzle"
Gunther says, "toad! toad! toad!"
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "s/sulky/sultry/"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "yeah, and it's already won for that"
Jacqueline says, "heh"
inky says, "I will be presenting the Best Puzzles Award, with visual demonstrations by NamelessAdventurer"
NamelessSidekick has arrived.
Rob says, "hooray"
inky says, "and, uh, with assistance NamelessSidekick"
[peanut-gallery] jon asks, "But didn't Galatea win Best NPCs back in the day?"
Jacqueline says, "Hooray!"
Kwi says, "Woo!"
Rob says, "wow"
Thrax says, "maybe it's NamefulAdventurer"
Marvin exclaims, "Woo!"
DavidW says, "How interesting."
inky asks, "so let me see, what do we have?"
Paul exclaims, "Yay mime!"
Paul says, "(did I just say that?)"
NamelessSidekick walks off stage, and comes back pushing a large table heaped with food.
Rob says, "mmm"
DavidW says, "mm food"
NamelessAdventurer sits down at the table and begins eating.
half puts his head in his hands...
NamelessAdventurer eats the ham sandwich!
NamelessAdventurer eats the grapes!
Fang throws food at people.
NamelessAdventurer eats the muskmelon!
Rob says, "hey, stop devouring all things!"
NamelessAdventurer eats the wedge of stilton!
Jacqueline says, "Heehee yay"
NamelessAdventurer finishes the food and looks around.
Thrax says, "hee hee"
lpsmith says, "Hee hee"
DavidW says, "ha ha ha"
Kwi says, "Hahaha!"
maga exclaims, "eat the table!"
half laughs involuntarily.
NamelessAdventurer eats the plate! Then he eats the napkin!
Recchi says, "gyaa-haha"
Marvin exclaims, "Ha!"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "This NamelessAdventurer all things devours..."
Gunther says, "stop him before he eats the universe"
NamelessSidekick hastily drags the table away from NamelessAdventurer.
Jota asks, "Er. Is this a safe place to stand right now?"
inky says, "I guess, uh, that would be All Things Devours, by half sick of shadows"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "also, this is ripped off from that strugatsky novel"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says (to NamelessAdventurer), "I name thee 'Katamari'"
Jacqueline tosses Jota a sammich. "No."
Kwi is suddenly glad he didn't get a front row seat.
Rob says, "the front row wears plastic raincoats, like with gallagher"
Fang tastes no good. No good at all.
inky says (to NamelessSidekick), "quick, the next one!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "hee"
NamelessSidekick whispers in inky's ear.
inky says, "uh, ok"
Paul remembers to clap for ATD. Yay!
inky says, "and that would be Future Boy! by Kent Tessman"
Gunther says, "waaait"
NamelessSidekick goes offstage and returns with a large orange floating object
DavidW says, "hahaha"
Marvin says, "Oh dear."
Paul says, "Oh hooray"
Kwi says, "Mmm, anti-gravity orange."
Fang exclaims, "Think of the children!"
inky says (to NamelessSidekick), "ha ha"
inky asks (of NamelessSidekick), "ok, what's next?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "uh oh, I guess you have to be familiar with the game to get that"
NamelessSidekick goes offstage and returns with an anvil, a hammer, and a large metal hoop.
Gunther says, "ha ha"
NamelessAdventurer picks up the hammer and begins pounding on the circle enthusiastically.
maga says, "yay"
NamelessAdventurer pound pound
DavidW asks, "is that Squaring the Circle?"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to Rob), "I'm familiar with the game and didn't get the orange object part, just the "future" part."
NamelessAdventurer doesn't seem to be making much of a dent.
NamelessAdventurer pauses for breath.
Fang euro euro euro. Also dollar.
NamelessSidekick whispers in NamelessAdventurer's ear.
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks, "Buoy, maybe?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "I don't think I got that part either"
NamelessAdventurer whips out a pen and paper and starts writing down equations, then hands the sheet to inky.
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to Jota), "Aha"
inky inspects the paper.
[peanut-gallery] Marvin says (to Jota), "That's what I had assumed."
inky says, "uh, ok"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "(But I missed the future part)"
inky says, "I guess it is true that one squared is one"
half says (to Rob), "Future buoy I think..."
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "what future part?"
NamelessAdventurer holds up the circle triumphantly.
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "Entering after the announcement"
[peanut-gallery] JoshuaH says, "Since it's floating..."
inky says, "so that would be Square Circle, by Eric Eve"
lpsmith exclaims, "And zero squared is zero!"
klimas says, "yay"
jon claps extremely sincerely for the maths game
[peanut-gallery] K-Y says, "I thought it might have been a fetus"
Bishop exclaims, "Yay impossible construction!"
Paul exclaims, "Hooray visual demonstration! Also yay SC!"
inky asks (of NamelessAdventurer), "and our fourth nominee?"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Hmm, is that a spoiler?"
Marvin says, "Hooray everything."
half cheers loudly.
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "In the future, all children will live in big orange balls."
NamelessSidekick goes offstage and pushes a bed back onstage.
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "The. Humanity."
NamelessAdventurer hops into bed and curls up.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "entering after the...? I still don't see it, but never mind"
Gunther asks, "what, Slouching towards Bedlam?"
[peanut-gallery] JoshuaH says, "No spoiler."
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says (to Gunther), "Heh."
Thrax says, "hold that dream"
(From NamelessAdventurer) Something sparkly starts to drift up from NamelessAdventurer's head.
DavidW says, "The Snores of Westfront"
NamelessSidekick quickly swings a butterfly net and grabs it!
[peanut-gallery] two-star says, "NamelessAdventurer's balls are pretty huge."
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "heh."
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says (to two-star), "TMI"
inky says, "and that would be The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin"
half cheers for zarf.
inky says, "and our final nominee .."
DavidW says, "hooray!"
maga says, "yay"
NamelessAdventurer gets out of bed, and looks around confused.
klimas says, "yay"
Marvin exclaims, "Yay zarf!"
lpsmith hopes NamelessAdventurer doesn't give inky a goose egg.
Rob says (to lpsmith), "stop _______ing him"
NamelessSidekick, holding something just out of site, whistles and walks over to NamelessAdventurer.
NamelessAdventurer looks around nervously.
NamelessSidekick gets a bit closer.
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "Out of sight, surely."
[peanut-gallery] inky says, "er, yeah"
[peanut-gallery] lpsmith asks, "He's holding something one a different URL?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "he's doing live comedy, cut him some slack"
(From NamelessSidekick) Something squawks suddenly!
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Nah, it's off-stage."
Jacqueline hides behind the seat in front of her.
Paul exclaims, "Yay dreamhold!"
NamelessAdventurer turns and runs offstage, closely followed by sidekick.
Tommy eggs on the protagonists.
<Rabbit> Rabbit has connected to ifMUD.
(From NamelessAdventurer) There is a squawk, a splort, and a growl from offstage.
Thrax says, "hey, get back here"
Rob says, "eww"
Gunther says, "!"
inky says, "... Goose, Egg, Badger, by Brian Rapp"
Ferret says, "Oh, dear."
DavidW says, "I'm not cleanin' that up."
Thrax says, "worst variation of Rock, Paper, Scissors ever"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Do badgers actually growl?"
Gunther says, "must be a war drove malfunction"
Kwi says, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "I wouldn't be surprised."
half says, "yay for games involving badgers!"
NamelessAdventurer limps back onstage, covered in feathers and holding an envelope.
K-Y claps for all
Tommy cheers mightily for Goose Egg Badger.
NamelessAdventurer hands the envelope to inky.
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "It's not *loose* in the auditorium, I hope."
inky says, "and the winner is ..."
JoshuaH applauds inky.
inky opens the envelope.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "honk honk"
Paul exclaims, "yay GEB!"
inky says, "The Dreamhold, by Andrew Plotkin"
maga exclaims, "yay!"
klimas says, "yay zarf!"
Fang says, "yay"
Marvin exclaims, "Yay zarf!"
Gunther recipes zarf
Paul exclaims, "Hooray dreamhold again!"
K-Y says, "Yay"
DavidW says, "yippee!"
two-star exclaims, "Yay!"
Bishop applauds wildly.
NamelessAdventurer and NamelessSidekick clap.
Ferret cheers for Andrew.
Thrax says, "yay orrererery"
half applayds wildly!
Recchi exclaims, "Hooray!"
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "does a dorktastic dance"
reese cheers mightily
DavidW claps loudly.
zarf does a dorktastic dance
[peanut-gallery] zarf says, "sigh"
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
Rob squeezes some fire berries, shooting sparks over the crowd
[peanut-gallery] klimas says, "Bite Me 2: The Reckoning"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop asks (of Rob), "Stiffy Makane is squeezing your breasts?"
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Puzzles 2004 XYZZY to zarf.
Fang says, "Well done zarf."
zarf says, "I have... another speech"
zarf stands up
Paul says, "Oh dear"
Kwi says, "Yay! Speech!"
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks (of Bishop), "I beg your pardon?"
Thrax bites zarf preemptively
ifdhan exclaims, "good for zarf !"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "'honk honk'."
zarf says, "This is all cool."
Fang exclaims, "yay!"
Thrax exclaims, "shorter! too long!"
Tommy says, "Terse, but expressive."
zarf says, "And yet, a mysterious enemy is approaching the borders of our great nation."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "uhh... kay"
zarf says, "The time has never been riper."
zarf says, "We have nothing to cheer but cheer itself"
zarf says, "wait"
[peanut-gallery] Fang asks, "Hmm, giant terrorist tomatos?"
zarf looks at his notes
Trumgottist looks confused, as always.
zarf says, "Wrong speeches."
DavidW says, "pfft"
ifdhan asks, "the borogoves??"
zarf says, "Thank you all."
Thrax asks (of zarf), "will you stay the course? are you working hard?"
zarf sits down
Paul cheers for Zarf and his speeches
Tommy says, "No, thank you."
Marvin exclaims, "That speech sucked! Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Fang says, "heh"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to Thrax), "Also, ha"
Jota asks, "I liked the first one better. Can we hear the end?"
Jacqueline says, "Well done, Zarf. The game. Not the speech."