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2001 XYZZY Awards Ceremony Transcript

On March 9, 2002, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the 2001 XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, with comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you not wish to see those comments, an expurgated version is also available.

eileen says, "Next up, we have the award for Best Writing..."
ctate gives two turntables to eileen.
[peanut-gallery] neild says, "Fastest. Xyzzys. Ever."
eileen says, "Let me give you our next presenter..."
jarel types examine everybody but me
[peanut-gallery] Whizzard says, "Mr. Sloth..."
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "We've been going for more than that. 80 minutes, by my count."
eileen says, "The Boatman, from Metamorpheses"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "next year, just write all the winners on the blackboard and drop it"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, ">EILEEN, GIVE NEXT PRESENTER TO ME"
[peanut-gallery] Jacqueline says, "The Xyzzys. From 0 to all awards in 6.5 seconds."
[peanut-gallery] Ander takes our next presenter.
[peanut-gallery] Ander says, "Timing."
[peanut-gallery] markm says, "It's good to see that someone read the 'MAKE. XYZZYS. FAST.' spam."
eileen steps back
Paul claps silently
TheGondolier, robed and hooded in heavy black cloth, steps up on stage.
maga_dogg says, "yay"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "oooh."
Photon hits the gong.
mcp asks, "anyone got a coin?"
Rob claps somberly.
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to photon), "yay"
[peanut-gallery] Hjalfi asks, "What does a Xyzzy look like, anyway?"
Thrax says, "yay Metamorphoses"
Gunther says (to mcp), "DON'T PAY THE FERRYMAN!"
ctate stomps slowly.
[peanut-gallery] Paul says (to gunther), "hee hee"
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says, "Looks just like inky."
TheGondolier holds up sign "You may remember me from Metamorphoses"
neild says (to mcp), "No no no no! Not until he get -FUCK YOU GUNTHER"
Thrax claps so hard he tips the gondola. Splash!
[peanut-gallery] Jota reminds himself to send Niccolo backstage later to introduce himself.
TheGondolier holds up sign "Well, I've left that gig"
[peanut-gallery] baf says, "Like a dosh, but less gharmy."
ctate laughs.
TheGondolier tears off robe to reveal a gold sequin shirt
Dennis_Jerz throws rock at gondolier.
Gunther says, "XYZZY: The Semaphore Version!"
veek laughs
Thrax exclaims, "Oh no! Disco!"
Jacqueline holds up sign "Yes, I remember."
TheGondolier says, "I'm going on stage! I'm gonna sing! I'm gonna dance!"
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg exclaims, "You may remember me from such works as Metamorphoses, Orpheus In Hades, and Hercules Rescues Theseus!"
Psmith says (to Gondolier), "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Whizzard falls over and hurts himself.
[peanut-gallery] Rob says (to neild), "shh! a billion people are watching!"
Thrax says, "Oh, okay. Whew."
neild falls over.
Photon rolls on the floor.
[peanut-gallery] rc says, "Gondolier strip tease, one night only."
ctate stomps wildly!
mcp blinks
Rob claps!
[peanut-gallery] veek says, "He's been hired for the Abba musical!"
TheGondolier says, "the singing gondolier, coming soon to a theatre near you!"
[peanut-gallery] jwalrus says, "this rules"
[peanut-gallery] Paul exclaims, "Go-go Gondolier!"
[peanut-gallery] markm says, "The ghosts of Gilbert & Sullivan are going to visit their wrath upon us."
[peanut-gallery] buzzard says, "hee"
Dennis_Jerz is not affected by the goldonier's display.
Duchess waves $20 dollar bills
DavidW claps!
(From Gunther) TheGondolier says, "I didn't want to be a gondolier anyway!"
TheGondolier spins his boatman's pole around and does a little soft-shoe
eileen rubs eyes, disbelieving
Dennis_Jerz wonders what a goldonier is.
(From Gunther) TheGondolier says, "I wanted to be a lumberjack!"
mcp asks (of gunther,neild), "NOW can i pay him?"
neild is laughing way too hard to type.
Rob whistles!
[peanut-gallery] DavidW says (to Gunther), "hee"
Photon exclaims, "Woo-hoo!"
Storme says (to Gunther), "yay"
[peanut-gallery] rc says, "Hey, it's the fake_Jon_Ingoldonlier"
Thrax asks (of Dennis), "well, you saw Goldeneye and Goldfinger, right?"
TheGondolier says, "ahem"
Gunther says (to mcp), "yes"
[peanut-gallery] buzzard says (to DennisJ), "It looks a lot like a golden retriever, only smaller"
[peanut-gallery] Dennis_Jerz says, "If he licks that pole, I'm gone."
BoingBall says (to gunther), "argh"
[peanut-gallery] neild2 exclaims, "I not laugh! I type! Yay boat-person!"
Photon says, "He's a lumberjack and he's..."
[peanut-gallery] Whizzard says, "oooowwwww"
Bishop says (to neild), "Stick a dollar bill in his thong, if he comes close."
[peanut-gallery] DavidW exclaims (at Dennis), "Ack!"
TheGondolier says, "and now, I will present my first number. it's a little something I call ..."
TheGondolier says, ""row, row, row my boat""
Duchess says (to bishop), "i got 20s, but he isn't coming my way"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "Oh, ouch."
Bishop says, "Er, at mcp there, I meant."
[peanut-gallery] maga_dogg says, "eeeagh"
TheGondolier says, "mi-mi-mi"
ghira goes home.
</ghira> I need chocolate and ricotta cake from the kosher bakery in via Portico d'Ottavia!
[peanut-gallery] neild2 exclaims, "Yay boat-man make boat joke! Clap clap clap!"
(From Gunther) Spock says, "But life ISN'T a dream!"
TheGondolier notices NamelessAdventurer glaring at him
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "egad, star trek 5 refs!"
DavidW chokes on a peanut.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
TheGondolier says, "well, ok, enough about mi-- er, me"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "I had to"
ctate chuckles.
TheGondolier says, "let's get these nominees read"
NamelessAdventurer says, "From backstage, my glare penetrates, even."
[peanut-gallery] Gunther passes out the marshmallows.
TheGondolier asks, "NamelessSuperhero, is that you?"
BoingBall says, "like a moose"
[peanut-gallery] Paul says, "Frobozz Magic Penetrating Glare"
[peanut-gallery] jwalrus RTA 'passes out from the marshmallows'.
Gunther says, "A NamelessAdventurer of Elvish Antiquity"
NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Thank god I'm here!"
[peanut-gallery] Duchess asks (of gunther), "got salsa and chips?"
TheGondolier says, "nominated for Best Writing, we have:"
Thrax exclaims (at nameless), "...Presenting Kid!"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to Duchess), "graham crackers & chocolate"
markm asks (of Gunther), "You noticed the blue glow too?"
TheGondolier says, "All Roads, by the much-awarded Jon Ingold"
Rob claps!
Gunther says (to markm), "yes"
Jota says, "Woo, Roads."
Gunther says, "woo again"
ctate stomps enthusiastically!
TheGondolier says, "Best of Three, by Emily Short"
Aris exclaims, "Roads, yet again!"
Recchi claps
veek cheers
Photon applauds.
DavidW claps.
Rob claps!
Bishop exclaims, "HAT-TRICK! HAT-TRICK!"
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says (to ctate), "nah, katre has chocolate cookies"
ctate stomps on Grant!
Gunther says, "also, john woo"
BoingBall exclaims, "bo3! bo3!"
maga_dogg says, "Yaaaay"
Aris exclaims, "Bo3, yet again!"
jarel claps again
Photon exclaims, "One more for the roads!"
TheGondolier says, "hey Bishop, watch me pull this pigeon out of my hat!"
veek keeps clapping for all
maga_dogg says, "B! O! 333333..."
Marvin says, "Yay"
[peanut-gallery] rc says, "Hey, there's got to be a conflict of interest when a gondolier is presenting an award and a nominee is set in Venice."
Thrax exclaims, "Hit the roads, Jon!"
neild exclaims, "Yay_Jon_and_Emily_macro!"
[peanut-gallery] buzzard exclaims, "yay!"
TheGondolier says, "Fallacy of Dawn, by Robb Sherwin"
Rob claps!
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther asks, "when will we find out that Jon was doped and the judges were threatened?"
ctate stomps around in the aisle, trips, and falls down!
Gunther says, "yay FOD"
[peanut-gallery] Jota asks (of RC), "The fact that the other nominee so far had been his own creator had nothing to do with it?"
Thrax says (to Gondolier), "YJLTS 'fallac'"
TheGondolier says, "No Time to Squeal, by Mike Sousa and Robb Sherwin"
Rob claps!
maga_dogg says, "yay"
[peanut-gallery] rc says, "Of course not."
Jota says, "Yay, Squeal."
Gunther says, "Yay NTTS too"
ctate stomps some more!
TheGondolier says, "and remember, there might be no time to squeal, but there's always time to sing!"
rc says, "No Time To Squeal, Lots of Time to XYZZY"
Aris exclaims, "Squealing!"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "the mighty tatezilla"
[peanut-gallery] Dennis_Jerz says, "The Venetian city-state threatened to withdraw all its games from future competitions."
jwalrus would squeal with excitement, but doesn't have time.
Photon exclaims, "Yay sing!"
Ryan repairs the floor beneath ctate before it gives way.
TheGondolier says, "er, and Pytho's Mask, by Emily Short"
Rob claps!
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Gunther says, "oo"
veek says, "YAY"
ctate stomps thunderously!
BoingBall sabotages ryan's work
Paul claps for All Roads, Best of Three, Fallacy of Dawn, No Time To Squeal, and Pytho's Mask, all at once
neild exclaims, "Yay Emily v. Emily!"
Gunther says, "also o_O;;;;;"
jwalrus says, "yay pytho, again!"
Recchi claps!
Thrax looks behind Pytho's Mask. It's Jon!
rc exclaims, "Yay double-nominated Emily!"
Dennis_Jerz cheers.
TheGondolier says (to neild), "either way, the fans win!"
Aris exclaims, "Most yayed author, yay!"
[peanut-gallery] rc exclaims, "Yay hot Emily-on-Emily action!"
[peanut-gallery] nm asks, "who will win: Emily or the Evil Emily?"
[peanut-gallery] TheGondolier says, "the fans win that way too"
[peanut-gallery] Gunther says, "yes!"
[peanut-gallery] ctate asks, "or Robb, or Robb?"
TheGondolier says, "and the winner is ... Fallacy of Dawn, by Robb Sherwin!"
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says, "there is no evil emily"
Gunther says, "YES!!!!!!"
[peanut-gallery] Dennis_Jerz says, "Uset the transporter to put both Emilys back together."
Storme says, "yay!"
Rob applauds!
Emily says, "yay Fallacy!"
Tanan applauds
[peanut-gallery] neild2 exclaims, "Me_only_clone_macro hmph!"
DavidW cheers.
veek says, "Yay!"
Marvin exclaims, "YAY!"
Ryan says, "Yay Recchi!"
rc says, "Yay FOD"
ctate says, "WOO!"
Marvin exclaims, "WOO!"
nm says, "hooray"
Paul claps
Kiz says, "yay fallacy!"
Recchi says, "Oh my"
Marvin exclaims, "Yay!"
Marvin exclaims, "Woo yay!"
neild exclaims, "woo!"
Gunther says (to Recchi), "NON-SPEECH!"
Aris exclaims, "Fallacy!"
Marvin exclaims, "yay woo!"
ctate's feet hurt too much to stomp.
Recchi says, "I have to apologize to my partner, Mike Sousa, here. I put all the video game lines into Fallacy of Dawn, instead of for NTTS where they were originally headed."
[peanut-gallery] rc says, "According to the Blimp, Robb Sherwin is, in fact, the winner."
Paul exclaims, "Yar!"
Photon tries to compile wxHugo for Linux.
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
Recchi says, "The evil Hare in NTTS, for instance, was originally supposed to be depicted by Chris Crawford."
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Writing trophy to Recchi.
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "NTTS should have won -- Robb was robbed."
[peanut-gallery] Thrax says (to Paul), "hee"
Recchi says, "(and there were going to be FORTY ONE scenes, not five)"
[peanut-gallery] Bishop says, "Damnit, I'm going to have to play these games now."
Hugo says, "Yay material swiping."
Gunther says (to Recchi), "hee!"
TheGondolier gets back in his gondola and slides bump-bump-bump down the steps of the stage
Gunther says (to Recchi), "bruce stole that one"
TheGondolier says, "next time you see me, I'll be famous! my name in lights!"
Recchi says, "No, seriously though, thanks everyone. Jon and Emily are two of my favorite authors, so I'm going to get off the stage before this becomes a Jack Palance / Marisa Tomei / My Cousin Vinny kind of thing."
eileen applauds happily
Ryan says, "Yay!"
Hjalfi claps.
neild exclaims (at TheGondolier), "Hey, it's Dan Doctoroff!"
DavidW says, "claps."
neild says, "<obscure NYC joke>"
Photon claps for TheGondolier.
Marvin claps lots.
[peanut-gallery] Ryan says, "And now, I must go do grocery chopping. But I will remain in the Auditorium for logging's sake."
[peanut-gallery] Rob asks, "Jack Palance?"
veek says (to inky), "yay!"
Jaybird asks, "After the last award, there'll be an aditional award for best speech, right?"
[peanut-gallery] buzzard says, "I dunno, some obscure video game reference I think"
[peanut-gallery] ctate says (to Rob), "he's promising not to do one-armed pushups."
Paul tries a one handed push-up, collapses.
[peanut-gallery] Duchess says, "i don't get the joke"
Mus asks, "How about an award for briefest speech?"
Kiz says, "yay thing!"
[peanut-gallery] Hjalfi asks, "Will there be an award for best Xyzzy?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "oh I get it, all is clear now"
Gunther says (to Mus), "won by jon ingold"
[peanut-gallery] Hjalfi asks, "And what would happen if it won?"
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "it's two separate academy awards references"
[peanut-gallery] Jota says, "Never let it be said that the lumber industry owes nothing to Ryan Freebern."
[peanut-gallery] Hugo says (to Rob), "Urban legend is that Palance read the wrong name for Marisa Tomei, I believe."
[peanut-gallery] buzzard says (to Hjalfi), "'Stack overflow.'"
[peanut-gallery] Recchi says (to buzzard), ""
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "no wait, it's only one"
[peanut-gallery] buzzard says (to Rechhi), "I was joking actually"
[peanut-gallery] Hugo says, "Also, sure, Recchi can write, but I can type faster."
[peanut-gallery] Recchi says (to buzzard), "Whoops. Heh."
[peanut-gallery] Rob says, "that one being, there was a rumor (spread by Rex Reed) that Marisa Tomei did not actually win best supporting actress for My Cousin Vinny, but that Jack Palance read her name off in a bit of senile confusion"

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