On March 9, 2002, at 4:00 P.M. EST (9:00 P.M. GMT), the XYZZY Awards Ceremony was held at ifMUD. Below is the transcript of the event, without comments made on the #peanut-gallery discussion. Should you wish to see those comments, they are also available.

NamelessAdventurer exclaims, "Okay, there he his. So, to present the Best PC award, we have last year's winner: Rameses!"
Duchess walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice her approaching it from the other side.
Rameses has arrived.
Stacey says, "yay"
ctate says, "woohoo!"
Jota exclaims (at baf), "Sit down!"
Gunther says, "Woo Rameses!"
maga_dogg exclaims, "yay!"
Carrad2 asks, "Isn't Rameses a misspelling?"
Dennis_Jerz cheers
Hjalfi claps.
Sargent applauds.
Iain says (to baf), "Well done and congratulations! As long as you don't take this as an excuse to write something incomprehensibler next time, that is."
DavidW exclaims, "yay Rameses!"
Bishop just got back, so he'll applaud, even if nobody else is at the moment. Yay gostak!
Rameses ascends the stage.
Rameses stares blankly.
BoingBall says (to carrad), "No."
Duchess takes a seat in the front row
Gunther says, "I think Rameses should WIN AGAIN"
Jacqueline applauds.
Yekrats claps.
Marvin says, "woo"
Rameses takes a deep breath.
Rameses says, "Sorry everyone, I'm a bit nervous."
Paul exclaims (at Rameses), ""Say it, say it!"
Rameses says, "So I hope you'll bear with me."
Rameses says, "As I present the award for Best Player Character."
Sargent says (to Rameses), "we validate you!"
Rameses says, "2001."
Carrad2 says, "cut-paste? that was way too fast..."
Rameses says, "Sorry."
Rameses says, "(Must stop apologising.)"
Rameses takes another deep breath.
baf degombs the stage and deaves gurr.
Iain says (to Rameses), ">TALK TO RAMESES. 2"
Thrax exclaims, "oh, kick the Validator, huh? Great idea!"
Rameses says, "Anyway, this year, we have a rather spectacular crop of assholes to choose from."
Recchi laughs
Rameses says, "I mean, look at Aubrey Foil from The Beetmonger's Journal, by Scott Starkey.,
Rameses says, "This guy is content to spend his life in servitude to some self-important old asshole archaeologist."
Dennis_Jerz shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Jarb exclaims, "hoot hoot!"
Rameses says, "And when he's not dribbling all over his master, he's reading some dusty old tome about a medieval religion."
Rameses says, "Makes me feel like I have a social life."
mcp arrives from the west.
Gunther says, "yay"
Rameses says, "And then we have Helen Tsakis from Best of Three, by Emily Short."
maga_dogg says, "yay"
baf says, "yay"
Marvin says, "woo"
Rameses says, "Now, Helen seems like a nice girl - she's quiet, and sensitive, and I really think we'd get on very well together, really."
Rameses says, "But no! She's in love with that A-grade asshole Grant Stern! A guy who takes ten minutes to order a fucking cappucino! What the hell does she see in this fucking creep?"
Stacey says, "hee"
Iain says, "Yay non-player-character assasination."
Gunther says, "hee"
neild giggles.
Rameses says, "I'll never understand girls."
ctate says, "heh"
maga_dogg says, "yay"
neild exclaims (at Iain), "Ha!"
Rameses says, "Next is Delarion Yar, from Fallacy of Dawn, by Robb Sherwin."
Gunther says, "WOO WOO"
ctate stomps his feet enthusiastically!
Rameses says, "A doped-out, debt-ridden loser who spends his time obsessing over 80s video games."
Rameses says, "I mean, what kind of wasters play computer games?"
Marvin exclaims, "WOO!"
Emily says, "yay Delarion"
Rameses says, "And then his memory is in bits, and he claims this is because of some brain injury. So it's nothing to do with your fucking drug problem, asshole?"
Rameses says, "Speaking of assholes, there's Troy Sterling from Fine Tuned, by Dennis Jerz."
Rameses says, "This rich bastard likes to lord it over everyone, with his mansion, and his driveway, and his look-at-me-I'm-so-important car."
Recchi laughs
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Photon honks.
Rameses says, "A so-called daredevil adventurer who can never even remember to pull his fucking parking-brake!"
Rameses says, "If I was Aloysius, I'd just kick him out of the car and drive away."
Gunther falls over.
baf says, "yay"
dfan says, "Whooo PCs"
Photon honks again.
Sargent goes, and in doing so leaves.
</Sargent> Now if hero cats saving lives isn't science fiction, I don't know what is!
Carrad2 moos
Marvin says, "woo"
Rameses says, "And finally we come to the biggest asshole of them all, the Kissing Bandit from Tale of the Kissing Bandit by J. Robinson Wheeler."
Rameses says, "An overconfident, moustache-twirling, high-society tosser, who can only approach girls by sneaking up on them from behind."
dfan says, "Kissing Bandit!!"
Gunther says, "yay"
maga_dogg says, "woo"
Rameses says, "Even I could do that."
Rameses says, "And as if that wasn't bad enough, he also refers to himself in the third person."
ctate says, "yay!!!!!!"
Sophie says, "yay"
Bishop exclaims, "woo!"
Emily says, "yay moustache!!!"
Rameses says, "Kissing Wanker, more like."
Ellison says, "belated yay Porn"
Gunther says (to Ellison), "tsd"
DavidW says, "yay moustache twirling"
Ellison says, "oops, I mean Yar"
Rameses asks, "And now, um could I have the envelope?"
Paul yays the games and the presenter
Aris claps for third person.
Rameses shuffles around nervously.
Hjalfi claps, just out of principle.
Rameses says, "And the award goes to... uh..."
neild exclaims, "Yay Rameses!!!!"
(From Jarb) ThirdPerson says, "I feel so used."
Rameses opens the envelope, gets a paper cut.
Carrad2 says, "Drumroll, please"
Stacey says, "hee"
Gunther says, "DILBON"
Storme has disconnected.
Storme has connected.
Thrax drums a roll.
Rameses says, "And the award goes to -- The Kissing Bandit, from Tale of the Kissing Bandit by J. Robinson Wheeler!"
Ryan applauds!
Tanan applauds
Storme says, "YAY"
Dennis_Jerz yay
Rob says, "whoa, oh my"
Photon applauds.
ctate says, "WOOO!"
Thrax exclaims, "yay!"
Ellison claps
Aris exclaims, "Woo!"
Hjalfi claps.
neild applauds
Emily says, "Yay!!!!!!!!!"
dfan says, "WHOO!!"
buzzard exclaims, "woohoo!"
DavidW says, "yay"
maga_dogg says, "yay"
Paul exclaims, "Yay kissing bandit!!"
Marvin exclaims, "woo!"
Thrax kisses Rob.
Bishop says, "Yay."
atholbrose exclaims, "yay!"
katre says, "yay"
Gunther says, "YAY game I didn't even play!"
Rob stands up.
Jacqueline Claps.
Carrad2 says, "The last person always gets it...?..."
Jota claps, promises himself to play that Today.
nm says, "hooray"
Ander exclaims, "Yay!!"
Yekrats claps.
neild2 applaud too!
inky says, "smoochies!"
ctate twirls his mustache....
Kiz cheers
eileen claps madly
Paul says, "Also yay its shade parody"
Rob climbs up on stage.
Aris exclaims, "Kissing bandit and third person!"
Hugo says, "Hooray Rob!"
maga_dogg exclaims, "ha HA!"
Sophie cheers
Duchess says, "yay. one of the few games i played"
josh_g says, "yay!"
Rob shakes hands with Rameses.
Rameses says, "Wanker."
(From Thrax) Rob crawls higher. * * * BANDIT * * *
ctate says (to Rob), "Smooch! Err, speech!"
Stacey says, "hee"
Paul lays a big smoocharino on Rob
Rob says, "Thank you!"
Recchi applauds!
Rob says, "This is quite nice."
NamelessAdventurer has arrived.
Gunther @emit Bruce pisses in Rameses' cheerios.
<pinb4ck> pinb4ck has connected to ifMUD.
NamelessAdventurer gives Best Individual PC trophy to Rob.
Gunther says, "oops"
dhan-spain says, "I haven4t played these"
DavidW claps
Rob says, "I'm afraid I didn't think of a speech"
Rob says, "so I guess I'll just twirl my moustache and activate my magic boots and return to my seat"
Rob says, "thanks!!"
Emily says, "yay magic boots!!!!"
Rob boingggggggg
Ryan cheers!
Photon claps.
Rob lands in his seat.
Marvin exclaims, "Woo!"
ctate stomps his feet some more!
mcp claps
Gunther says, "WORST SPEECH EVER"
atholbrose claps
Gunther says, "But still yay"
Dennis_Jerz claps.
josh_g says, "huzzah"
ctate stomps Gunther's feet!
Gunther says (to ctate), "hee"
Rob sits looking chuffed.
<rc> rc has connected to ifMUD.
rc walks out from under the archway south of here, although you didn't notice him approaching it from the other side.
pinb4ck arrives from the west.
dhan-spain exclaims, "next award!! next award!!"
ctate throws peanuts towards the podium.